Seeings how dogs speak a different language than humans, sometimes I find it hard to get them to know what we’re thinking. Sometimes there are things I’d like to have or do, that I can’t do myself, and I can’t get any of the humans to do it for me. It’s not that they’re stupid, I think they just don’t get it. So, I’ve been doing some research, cause I figure there’s got to be another way to get through to them. With the help of my super helpful assistant Aleksa, I’ve been learning all about Mental Telepathy.
Basically, Mental Telepathy is the process of transferring thoughts from one mind to another. It’s kinda like sending stuff from one computer to another, but a lot harder, cause like I said, we don’t speak the same language like computers do, and I think the humans just have way too much on their minds.
Plus, I guess you have to learn how to do it, which takes a lot more studying. Apparently, there are six key things:
1. Believe in telepathy… Check, I totally believe in it.
2. Eliminate your physical perception… Hmmm, not sure about this. It has something to do with focusing on your thoughts, and they suggest wearing headphones or goggles painted white. I can do that.
3. Engage in energetic coupling… What? I think they mean it’s important to have a bond with who you want to transfer your thoughts to, like you should have something in common with them. Heck, I have stuff in common with everyone I know.
4. Stretch your muscles and exercise.. I do this all the time.
5. Meditate and calm your mind… That’s not always easy cause there’s a lot going on around here, but maybe the headphones and goggles will help.
6. Decide on who will be the receiver and the sender…Well, I know my Mom better than anyone, but I’m not sure she’s the best human to start with, cause she already knows what I’m trying to do.
“Don’t you have to have two willing participants to make it work, David?”-Editor/Mom
I don’t think so, I mean that could be a problem, cause what if you don’t want them to know that you want them to do something?
“That’s not Mental Telepathy David, that’s Mind Control.”-Editor/Mom
Mind Control? What’s that? Is it better than Mental Telepathy? Is it easier?
“Nevermind, forget I said anything. I’m pretty sure it’s harder, and you probably ought to start with simple telepathy first.”-Editor/Mom
Okay, so they say if you do all six of those things, it should be easy to transmit a message, even for novices, which are beginners like me, but that not everyone is successful. And I figure since I’m doing it without them knowing it’ll probably be harder, but with a lot of mental preparation and practice, I think I can do it.
“So, who are you planning on starting with?”-Editor/Mom
I was thinking of starting with Waya first, as a test, before moving on to the humans. We speak the same language, already have a bond, and she’s usually up for anything.
Okay then, time to get started. First I’ll prepare myself mentally.
Then I’ll prep Waya, make sure we’re both on the same page.
Holy Crap, it worked! I did it while we were playing tug with my gator. She never lets go, and I transmitted to her that I really wanted it…and she gave it to me!!! She didn’t even know what hit her.
It was easy. I knew I’d be good at this. Boy, this is going to be great!
“Wow, I’m impressed. So do you think you’re ready to try it on a human yet? Who do think your first victim should be?”-Editor/Mom
“Don’t even think about it, David, or I’ll show some real Mental Telepathy.”-Auntie Jen
I think I’ll try it on Auntie Kristine. We’ve had a bond ever since I can remember, and she’d do anything for me. I can’t wait. I’ll let you all know how it turns out next week.
“I can’t wait to hear about this.”-Editor/Mom