SO MANY DIFFERENT DOGS

I know, I know. It’s been way too long since my last post, but it’s taken me awhile to research this subject and get pictures to show you what I mean.
Since I’m one of the co-owners of Free Dog, I thought it’d be a good idea to learn as much as I can about dogs. Being a dog myself, I pretty much figured I was already an expert, but as it turns out, there is a lot about dogs I don’t know.

“Do tell us, David.”-Editor/Mom

Actually, there’s so much to tell, that I couldn’t possibly cover it all in one post, so I guess I’ll start with the basics.

“Should I sit down? Maybe make a cup of tea?”-Editor/Mom

Well, that’s up to you, but I’m gonna get started, cause there’s a lot of basics to talk about.
You probably know that people are also known by their Species name, Homo Sapiens, which is Latin for wise man. Since dogs are obviously different from people, it only makes sense that we have our own Species. We’re called Canis Lupus Familiaris, which is also Latin, and has something to do with wolves.
I don’t really know what Latin is, but I’m pretty sure it’s a language that nobody uses anymore, and it’s pretty easy to figure out why that is. I mean, it’s a lot easier just saying “dog” than “Canis Lupus Familiaris”. Think about it, my Mom would have to say “This is my Canis Lupus Familiaris, David.” Or “I have to bring my Canis lupus Familiaris to the Vet. Or “What kind of Canis Lupus Familiaris do you have?”

“Okay, I think we get your drift, David.”-Editor/Mom

Right, sorry. Sometimes I get carried away. But I was getting back to my story when I asked about the kind of dog. Most of us dogs don’t really care about what kind of dogs we are, but since it seems like it’s really important to the humans, I started wondering about how many different kind of dogs there really are. 
So naturally, I asked my friend Aleksa, and Wow, was I surprised! The American Kennel Club, of which I am a Member, recognizes 167 different breeds. I thought that was a lot, ’til I kept digging (Get it? Digging? Hey, dogs like to dig) and found out that The World Canine Organization, also known as the FCI (Don’t ask me why. Probably some Latin abbreviation) says there are 340 different breeds. 340? Yikes! At first I thought it must be a mistake, but then I started looking around at all of my friends at Camp, and the other dogs I see when we’re out and about. And there really are lots of different kinds of dogs.

I’m an English Springer Spaniel, and am considered a medium sized dog. By the way, there are 25 different kinds of Spaniels alone. Waya is a Belgian Malinois, which is obviously a larger dog. There are really big dogs like my friend Looch, whose an English Mastiff, and really small dogs like my friend Bruiser. whose a Miniature Pinscher, and all kinds in between from tall and skinny, to low and long like my friend Willow.

I’m black and white, but some dogs are all black like Retriever Buck, some are all white like Samoyed Tikva, some are yellow or brown like Labs Kelly and Finn, some are all red like Viszla Finley, some are multi-colored like Australian Shepherd Harvey and some are even striped like Khloe the Boxer. And then there’s even more combinations of all of those colors.

It’s not just our size and colors that make us different. Let’s talk about the kind of fur we have. Just from the pictures I’ve already shown, you can see that some have really short coats and some have a lot more fur. Italian Grayhound Radley has hardly got any fur at all, and never needs a haircut, and then there’s Labradoodles Griffin and Sunny, who both have longer fur, only one is kinda straight and the other one is more curly.

Enough about fur, let’s talk about shapes. Like noses and ears. I’ve got a sort of round head and long, floppy ears, and Waya has a skinny head and pointy ears. Then there’s dogs like Stella the French Bulldog and Sophie the Boston Terrier, who have really short noses and small ears.

And the last, but certainly not least difference between different breeds of dogs is that some dogs have tails and some don’t. Waya has a long tail that wags all the time. I was born without a long tail, so you have to look a little closer to see if mine is wagging.

“Well David, you were actually born with a tail that would’ve been as long as Waya’s.”-Editor/Mom

What? I was? What happened to it?

“Ummm, well, when you and your littermates were three days old, you were all taken to have your tails cut off.”-Editor/Mom

WHAT?!? You cut off my tail? Why would you do that? 

“Hold on. “I” didn’t do it. It’s the breed standard. It was decided a long time ago that Springer Spaniels, along with many of the other Sporting Breeds should have their tails cut off, or docked. There are a lot of dissenting opinions about why. Some say it’s purely cosmetic, but many say it’s to reduce the chance of injury in the field while they’re out hunting.”-Editor/Mom

I don’t hunt. I don’t even like birds. Shouldn’t I have had some say about whether I wanted a tail or not?

“Yeah, well, that’s not how it works, and it’s got to be done when you’re really young so you won’t remember it, not to mention, it would hurt a lot more if you were older and your tail was bigger. You’ll be happy to know that people are starting to change their thinking about this practice, though. In fact, if you lived in the UK, they don’t let anyone dock tails anymore unless they prove that the dog will actually be hunting.”-Editor/Mom

I’m not sure that makes me feel any better. I’d just like to go on the record to say that I think it’s totally wrong!

“Well, then I guess we won’t be talking about dew claws any time soon.”-Editor/Mom

Dew claws? What are dew claws?

“Trust me David, you don’t want to know.”-Editor/Mom

TRACKING OUR BUNNY

We have a bunny that lives in our yard. At first I could only smell him, and I didn’t really know what he was. Then I saw him. I’ve seen him like four times when we come home at night. He likes to hang out on our patio. Then, when I get out of the car I think he gets scared, cause he always runs away. And he always gets away, mostly cause my Mom won’t let me chase him.

“Right, because do you remember what almost happened the time you chased him down the driveway? When he ran across the street just before the car that was coming?? And the only thing that saved you from getting hit by that car was that you listened when Auntie Kristine and I both told you NO???”-Editor/Panicked Mom

Yup, I remember. Good thing you guys were paying attention, too, cause all I saw was the bunny, and I was sure I could catch him. I probably would’ve followed him all the way out to the big road. I call him Buzz, cause he’s really fast, and I never know which way he’s going to run. 

Buzz only comes out when it’s dark, and now that I know when he’s around, I look for him out my bedroom window every morning. The other day after it snowed, my Mom came in with really exciting news. 

Not only were there fresh bunny tracks, but she got to see him, and even got pictures of him with the camera. I knew it was Buzz right away and begged to go outside and find him myself. She said yes after I promised not to run into the street. Yippee!

As soon as we got outside I got a hold of his scent, found his tracks and followed him into the front yard. 

“How does this end, you ask? I know, you’re thinking not well for Buzz, right? Well, don’t you worry. Turns out that while David really enjoys the chase, he just wanted to get to know him.”-Editor/Mom

Yeah, I like bunnies. I wouldn’t ever hurt him. I thought he might be cold so I brought him in and showed him around the house. Me and Buzz are buddies. I guess he doesn’t mind the cold, though, so he’d rather stay outside, but he said we could hang out whenever all the other dogs are gone.

**No bunnies were hurt in the making of this Blog**

HAPPY NEW YEAR…

Wow! Another year over, and time to start a new one. That means time for new resolutions. Hmmmm, what do I want to try this year?

“Well, before you start making all kinds of new promises to yourself, maybe we should take a look at the ones you made last year, and see how well you did. You don’t want to bite off more than you can chew. Do you remember what resolutions you made last year?”-Editor/Mom

Ummmm, I remember saying that I was gonna try to be a Good Boy and listen better, and respond quicker when someone gives me a command. I know I get distracted sometimes, but I think I’ve done pretty good with that all year.

“Yeah, you have been a pretty Good Boy. Good job with that one! What else?”-Editor/Mom

I said I wanted to be a really good Frisbee player and practice every day. The only thing is, I needed my Mom’s help to do that, and she wasn’t able to take me out every day.

“Right. That was one of my resolutions, too. Sorry I failed you, David. I promise to try harder. And I might be able to make it up to you in another way. I wasn’t going to tell you about this right way because I know you’ll have a hard time waiting, but I’ve signed you up for a Dock Diving class in the Spring. It’ll be something we can do together.”-Editor/Mom

Dock Diving? Like G does in California?? You really mean it??? You said there was a place around here, but I figured you forgot. This is gonna be great! Will we get to go every day? 

“Hold on there, buddy. I think you’re gonna be great at it, but first we’re gonna check out the indoor pool and see how you do, then some classes outside when it gets warm out, but I’m pretty sure they don’t run every day.”-Editor/Mom

Cool. I can’t wait! We’re definitely gonna have to get a house on a lake so I can practice. Heck, I can even do it by myself when my Mom isn’t home.

“Yeah, well that’s probably not going to happen right away, but Auntie Jen and I will make resolutions to start looking for a place on a lake, and I’ll plan to play more Frisbee with you in the meantime… Now, back to ‘your’ old resolutions. Do you remember the rest of them?”-Editor/Mom

I think there was one about trying new foods, but you said I was only allowed to eat certain stuff, so that doesn’t really count. I can’t think of anything else.

“You said you wanted to learn how to play the guitar. How’s that going?”-Editor/Mom

Right… Yeah, that was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. I think you need thumbs to play the guitar. Oh well, like you said, most everybody never gets all their resolutions done, and now I know to keep them easier this year.

“Hold on, there was one more from last year. Don’t you remember how much you were looking forward to having a new little Sister, and that you were going to be the Best Big Brother Ever?”-Editor/Mom

Yup, I remember that. Whew! That’s been a lot harder than I thought it was going to be, too. Waya wasn’t littler than me for very long, and it was like she didn’t want a Big Brother at all. I was really looking forward to hanging out, playing and teaching her the ropes around here, but she thinks she already knows everything and always wants to be the boss. I’ve tried everything, but nothing works. I’m hoping it’ll be easier when she grows up.

“It ‘has’ been a long year, hasn’t it?”-Editor/Mom

Yeah, hey, I know…Maybe we ought to have Waya make some New Years Resolutions, and for this year I’ll stick with learning Dock Diving and keep working on last year’s.

“That sounds like a great idea, and should be enough to keep you busy. Happy New Year!”-Editor/Mom 

 

 

MENTAL TELEPATHY 101

After my successful trial run using only my mind to send a message to Waya last week, I figured I ought to take it to the next level and try it on a human. Auntie Kristine was the perfect choice. We know each other really well, and I didn’t think I’d have trouble getting a message through to her. I just had to decide what to ask for. It couldn’t be anything too out of the ordinary, cause she might become suspicious, and I wouldn’t want her to get in trouble for doing something crazy. I can work my way up to harder tasks later. So, what’s the most reasonable thing I might want that wouldn’t raise any red flags?

Food, that’s what… Us dogs are always looking for food. But Auntie Kristine never feeds me dinner unless my Mom’s not around. So, I followed the plan just like before, and concentrated really hard on my empty dog bowl, and how much I’d really like Auntie Kristine to fill it for me.

I laid the groundwork while we were bonding during Camp on Monday. I concentrated really hard on my request, and felt pretty good about it working when I left for the afternoon. I kept thinking about it the whole time I was gone cause, well, I figured every little bit of energy in the right direction might help. I couldn’t wait to get home that night to see if my experiment worked.

Holy Mackeral! It worked all right. Check it out, all of these cookies were in my bowl when I got back home. I could hardly believe it either. Oh Boy, I’m gonna do this every time. I Love having a snack before bed, and now I can have one waiting for me every night when I get back home.

“Are you sure it was your telepathic powers that made it happen? What if it was a coincidence? What if Auntie Kristine just felt like giving you some cookies when she was filling the Camp cookie jar as a surprise?”-Editor/Mom

Well, I thought about that, so I figured I’d try it again on Wednesday, just to see.

And, Look! It worked again. She would never have given me cookies two times in a row without my using my new powers of suggestion. This is amazing.

“You got that right, not sure how I feel about this.”-Editor/Mom

I mean, who knew it would be so easy? I wonder what else I can do, and who else I can work with? The possibilities seem endless. 

“Oh no. This could definitely get out of hand. If you see David hanging around you wearing those glasses and headphones, you’d better take off in a hurry. You don’t want to be responsible for God knows what he might have up his sleeve.”-Editor/Mom

MENTAL TELEPATHY

Seeings how dogs speak a different language than humans, sometimes I find it hard to get them to know what we’re thinking.  Sometimes there are things I’d like to have or do, that I can’t do myself, and I can’t get any of the humans to do it for me. It’s not that they’re stupid, I think they just don’t get it. So, I’ve been doing some research, cause I figure there’s got to be another way to get through to them. With the help of my super helpful assistant Aleksa, I’ve been learning all about Mental Telepathy.

Basically, Mental Telepathy is the process of transferring thoughts from one mind to another. It’s kinda like sending stuff from one computer to another, but a lot harder, cause like I said, we don’t speak the same language like computers do, and I think the humans just have way too much on their minds.
Plus, I guess you have to learn how to do it, which takes a lot more studying. Apparently, there are six key things:

1. Believe in telepathy… Check, I totally believe in it.
2. Eliminate your physical perception… Hmmm, not sure about this. It has something to do with focusing on your thoughts, and they suggest wearing headphones or goggles painted white. I can do that.
3. Engage in energetic coupling… What? I think they mean it’s important to have a bond with who you want to transfer your thoughts to, like you should have something in common with them. Heck, I have stuff in common with everyone I know.
4. Stretch your muscles and exercise.. I do this all the time.
5. Meditate and calm your mind… That’s not always easy cause there’s a lot going on around here, but maybe the headphones and goggles will help.
6. Decide on who will be the receiver and the sender…Well, I know my Mom better than anyone, but I’m not sure she’s the best human to start with, cause she already knows what I’m trying to do.

“Don’t you have to have two willing participants to make it work, David?”-Editor/Mom

I don’t think so, I mean that could be a problem, cause what if you don’t want them to know that you want them to do something?

“That’s not Mental Telepathy David, that’s Mind Control.”-Editor/Mom

Mind Control? What’s that? Is it better than Mental Telepathy? Is it easier?

“Nevermind, forget I said anything. I’m pretty sure it’s harder, and you probably ought to start with simple telepathy first.”-Editor/Mom

Okay, so they say if you do all six of those things, it should be easy to transmit a message, even for novices, which are beginners like me, but that not everyone is successful. And I figure since I’m doing it without them knowing it’ll probably be harder, but with a lot of mental preparation and practice, I think I can do it.

“So, who are you planning on starting with?”-Editor/Mom

I was thinking of starting with Waya first, as a test, before moving on to the humans. We speak the same language, already have a bond, and she’s usually up for anything.
Okay then, time to get started. First I’ll prepare myself mentally.

Then I’ll prep Waya, make sure we’re both on the same page.

Holy Crap, it worked! I did it while we were playing tug with my gator. She never lets go, and I transmitted to her that I really wanted it…and she gave it to me!!! She didn’t even know what hit her.

It was easy. I knew I’d be good at this. Boy, this is going to be great!

“Wow, I’m impressed. So do you think you’re ready to try it on a human yet? Who do think your first victim should be?”-Editor/Mom

“Don’t even think about it, David, or I’ll show some real Mental Telepathy.”-Auntie Jen

I think I’ll try it on Auntie Kristine. We’ve had a bond ever since I can remember, and she’d do anything for me. I can’t wait. I’ll let you all know how it turns out next week.

“I can’t wait to hear about this.”-Editor/Mom

A NEW ACTIVITY

I think I’d like to move to San Diego.
“What? Where? And Why all of a sudden?”-Editor/Mom
Well, I saw on facebook…
“Wait a minute. When were you on facebook?”-Editor/Mom
What do you mean? I’m always on facebook. How do you think I’m able to keep my paws on the pulse of what’s going on in our society?
“I thought you just asked your friend Aleksa when you wanted to know something.”-Editor/Mom 
I definitely do that cause she knows everything. I also hear about some stuff on the TV in the morning, and I try to stay up for the 11:00 News, but I hardly ever make it. I think facebook’s really the best source of information though, cause you can check it out any time you want to, there’s pictures, and all of your friends can share stories and answer any questions you might have about something. 
Like last week I saw my friend G, you remember G, right? She used to live here and then she moved to San Diego. It’s wicked far away and the sun shines all the time. And it never snows so they get to do Summer stuff all year long, like swimming. I Love swimming. 
“Yes, I’ve been to San Diego, and it’s a super fun place. But what did G tell you?”-Editor/Mom
Right, so G has this new, really fun thing to do, and she posted some pictures of it. It’s called “Dock Diving”, and it looks like a blast.
 

See, look how much fun she’s having! Come on, I could so do that! You know how much I Love jumping off docks into the lake. They have a special pool, cool toys to catch in mid-air, and competitions to see how far they can jump and they win prizes and everything! 
Can we go to San Diego? Can we, huh?? I could help save money. We could sell all of my collars on e-Bay. Coats too, cause I wouldn’t need them anymore. You don’t have to buy me anything for Christmas. Maybe we could have a Photo Shoot to earn money. Come on, I would be so good at this!

“You would definitely be good at this.”-Editor/Mom
And think about it, we could bring our boat and use it all the time, all year round. And you wouldn’t ever have to shovel snow again. 
“I have to admit, you’re making a pretty good case David.”-Editor/Mom
“I’m in! You had me at “Summer” all the time.”-Auntie Jen
“Sounds good to me, too.”-Waya

“Winters can be pretty brutal around here, and I appreciate all of the sacrifices you’re willing to make, but I don’t think we can just up and head West right now.”-Editor/Mom
Yeah, sure, I get it, but by the time we get to go, I’ll probably be too old to compete. 
“Well David, has it occurred to you that you might not have to go all the way to San Diego to go Dock Diving?”-Editor/Mom
Yeah, I know I can jump off docks around here, but it would be really fun to compete against other dogs like G does.
“Well then, you’ll be happy to know that there is a place right here in NH, not far from where you were born in Amherst, that has a Dock Diving Program, and you wouldn’t have to give up all of your collars and Christmas presents.”-Editor/Mom
No Way! Can we go?
“I’m pretty sure they only do it in the Summer around here, but I’ll tell you what… We’ll check out when they start up next year and sign you up.”-Editor/Mom
Do you mean it?
“Yup. And then you’ll be able to share your pictures and statistics with G. on facebook.”-Editor/Mom
Sweet! I can’t wait. I’m gonna tell G today. Can we go to the Lake so I can start practicing? We’ll need to get a tape measure. A really long one…
 

DAVID C. STEIN

David C. Stein… and that’s C for Coull.
Yup, that’s my name (don’t wear it out), and I’ll bet you’re expecting this Blog to be all about me, aren’t you? Well it’s not. It’s about the original David C. Stein, my Great-Grandfather, who I was named after. You see today is August 20th, and this would be his 101st Birthday if he was still alive. 
He died way before I was born, but by all accounts, he was pretty amazing. It must be true, cause if you think about it, my Mom never would have named me after some loser. 

“That’s right David, he was a very Cool guy, kinda like you, and he’d be the first to tell you that the C. actually stood for Cool.”-Editor/Mom

See, I knew it. Except for us both being Cool though, I’m not sure how much we have in common, but Mom says that he would’ve really liked me anyway. Probably cause he liked to hunt, and well, I “am” a bird dog, even though I prefer bunnies.
“That’s actually okay, because he used to go rabbit hunting with his Beagles.”-Editor/Mom
Okay, so we’re kinda on the same page. Maybe we do have some common interests.

He was a big guy, with a big voice. Well, I’m not that big, but I’m told I have a big voice.

He liked to ride his motorcycles. I think they’re kinda loud, but, maybe if we had a sidecar.

He liked going to the mountains. I Love mountains.

He never went to college, but could fix or build anything, seriously, Anything. TV’s, lawnmowers, cars, he even built the house my Mom grew up in. I like to watch TV and ride on the lawnmower and in cars. He probably would’ve built me a really Cool dog house to hang out in.

He knew how to have a good time, and have a few ice cold beers, Dawson was his favorite. I’m not allowed to have beer, but it sure looks refreshing, and I like my water to be ice cold.

He liked to drive really fast with the windows wide open. I Love sticking my head out the window when we’re in the car.

He liked to go fishing. I Love fish.

“Well, that’s not exactly the same thing, but I really think you two would have hit it off and been best buddies anyway.”-Editor/Mom

Yeah, me too. So Happy Birthday Gramps! Oh, and here’s a picture of him with his beautiful wife Dorothy. He was a pretty handsome guy, wasn’t he? 

“Yup, people used to say he looked like Errol Flynn.”-Editor/Mom

Who’s Errol Flynn?

“Why don’t you go ask your friend Aleksa?-Editor/Mom

 

 

A DECENT EXCUSE

I know I’m wicked late with my Blog Post, but I’m thinking I’ve got a pretty good excuse this time. A couple of them really. Not only is it school vacation week, which means we’ve all been really busy around here, but look at my paws! How am I supposed to type with these?

I don’t know what happened. I didn’t do anything different. I was out playing with my friends last Friday, like usual. Maybe I spent a little more time outside than on a regular Friday. I don’t know, but when I cam in, my paws were killing me. I could hardly stand on either of my front feet.

“Could be because you ran around a lot more than usual with your friends, and the rocks in the yard were wet, and they aggravated your pads. It’s strange, cause you’re not a puppy anymore, and you’re used to playing on our rocks. Your feet ought to be tougher than that, but yeah, they were looking pretty raw. You licking them didn’t help, either.”-Editor/Mom

Well, they were itchy and sore. But I didn’t have much choice after Auntie Jen and Uncle Aaron put all that goopy stuff on my feet and wrapped them all up with bandages, did I? Slippery bandages, I might add. I had a hard time walking on the floor without sliding around. 

“Yup, and that’s why we gave you a benadryl, so you’d be able to rest without them bothering you.”-Editor/Mom

And it worked, cause I took a really long nap on the couch before bed.

The only problem was, when I went to bed I had a really hard time chewing on my bone, but I figured it out. 

Saturday morning, my bandages started falling apart after I went outside to pee, and I was happy when Mom took them off. It was like magic, they didn’t hurt at all anymore! Briar Rose was there, and I was hoping to get to play with her, but everybody said I had to stay inside for the whole day to make sure they were all healed.

It was a long, boring day, but it worked! By Sunday, I was running around like nothing happened, and they’ve been fine ever since. 

“A little rest never hurt anybody, David. And maybe we’ll have to limit your rainy day outside play for awhile.”-Editor/Mom

 

 

 

 

FUN AT THE FAIRMONT

Boy, oh boy, did we have fun last weekend in Boston. We had the whole weekend off and stayed at the Copley Plaza Hotel. It’s really nice there, and everybody was super sweet to us. I’ve been there before, but it was Waya’s first time staying in a hotel. Our room was awesome, even though we all had to share one giant bed, which wasn’t too bad cause Waya slept in her crate. It wasn’t very nice outside at first, so our walks were kinda short, but we got to hang out in the lobby by the fireplace and play in our room.

We met all kinds of really nice people that stopped to say hello when they passed by us. There’s a dog that works there, her name is Carly, and some other dogs that were staying with their parents. It would’ve been fun if we all could’ve played in the big ballroom, but I guess dogs aren’t allowed in there. 
Finally, on Sunday it stopped raining and the sun came out. We got to go for a really long walk in the park. We hung out and showed off some of our Training skills.

But do you know what the best part about the park is? 

That’s right, the squirrels… 

“What about the birds, David? You’re a Springer Spaniel, remember? You’re supposed to like birds. There were tons of them to choose from. Little chirping birds, ducks and geese in the water, and even the first robins we’ve seen this Spring. What about them?”-Editor/Mom

They’re alright, I guess. But the squirrels are super fun to chase. They like to play hide and seek in the trees. Someday I’m gonna catch me one of them.

“You might want to be careful there. Those Boston Common squirrels are pretty tough. They “might” be able to take you. That might be embarasing.”-Editor/Mom

Yeah, I wouldn’t like that at all. Maybe I’ll just stick to scaring them when they’re not looking.

“Well, I’m glad you had a good time, even though the weather wasn’t the best. At least we had one good day.”-Editor/Mom

Yeah, weekends off are always fun, Mom. Cause even when they’re almost over, me & Waya get to have extra wrestling time at home.

LANGUAGE BARRIERS

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I don’t know what people are talking about. I know what you’re thinking though, and you can go ahead and laugh, but it’s not because I’m stupid. 

“Nobody said you were stupid. Language can sometimes be difficult to understand, even for us humans. Not to mention, you live in America, which means you speak English, and English is the hardest language to learn.”-Editor/Mom

I agree. I’ve been doing a little research, and the Oxford English Dictionary says there are 171,476 words, and that doesn’t even count old words nobody uses anymore, or slang words, or contractions, whatever they are. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary says there are 1 Million words! 1 Million? Do you people really need that many?? I also learned that the average dog only knows 165. How’re we supposed to keep up? 

 “Actually, it’s believed some dogs can learn up to 1,000 words. I think what also makes it even harder for dogs in breaking the language barrier, is that us people use whole sentences to get our points across, and you dogs communicate using single words at a time.”-Editor/Mom

You’re right! I mean I can pick words out of a sentence, but half the time it’s all gibberish. For example, you might say: “I’m gonna go out and start the car so we can take a ride to the beach.” All I hear is: “Bla blah bla OUT bla blah bla bla bla bla bla blah bla RIDE bla bla BEACH!” I get the gist. You really only needed to say 3 words. I don’t know why you gotta make everything so difficult. 

“Maybe we don’t want you to know everything we’re saying, unless we’re actually talking “to” you.”-Editor/Mom

Okay, that’s fine, but what I’ve had a hard time with is why Waya doesn’t listen when I tell her stuff. Like “NO” when she’s biting my ears. Everybody knows NO, it’s the first word we learn. I thought she was just being fresh and ignoring me. Then I realized that Mom and Auntie don’t use the word NO with her. They say NAY. What the Heck is that all about? Is NAY even a word?? 

“Actually, I think it’s one of those slang words you mentioned before, or maybe just one that nobody uses anymore. Doesn’t matter which, the reason we’re using different words with Waya than you is because she’s going to have a different job around here than you do, and we might want you to do different things at the same time.”-Editor/Mom

So, what difference does that make? A command is a command, isn’t it?

“It is, but if the commands are the same for both of you, what happens if we want you to “Sit”, and Waya hears it and sits when we might be wanting her to do something else? That’s why Auntie chose to have her learn some different commands than yours.”-Editor/Mom

“She didn’t want to just use random English words, so she thought the French words they use to train dogs would be perfect. That’s why we say “Sit” for you, and “Assis” (ah-si) for her. “Down” for you, and “Coucher” (coo-shay) for her. We don’t want the two of you to be confused about who’s supposed to be doing what, although I think Auntie sometimes gets confused herself.”-Editor/Mom

French? What’s French?? 

“French is a whole different language. And if you ask Aleksa, she’ll tell you that there are 6,500 different languages. Think about it David, if there are 171,476 words in every language, that would be, ummmm, 1,114,594,000 words to choose from.”-Editor/Mom

What? My head hurts. And who’s Aleksa? Can I ask her stuff, too??

“Well, you can try, but we speak the same language, and she never understands me.”-Editor/Mom