THE HORSE INCIDENT

I just remembered that I never wrote about our trip to Amish Country. Mostly it’s because we’ve been really busy, but to be completely honest, there was an incident that I’ve been trying to forget about. I don’t want you to think that I didn’t have a good time on vacation, cause for the most part, it was a ton of fun. Our cottage by the covered bridge was really cool. 

It was kinda cold out, so we didn’t get to swim in the river a lot, but there was lots of room to play frisbee, and we went to a farm that makes the Best ice cream in the whole wide world. We got to sleep in late and spend all of our time together. So we all had a really good time, in fact it was just about perfect, except for one thing. 

I know Auntie Jen already told just about everyone, and I really don’t want to re-live the incident again, so I’m just gonna go ahead and admit that yes, I’m a little bit afraid of horses.

“A little bit afraid?”-Auntie Jen

Alright, alright! I’m a lot afraid. But seriously, can you blame me? Do you know how big these things are?? Have you seen them??? They’re so big people ride them!

 I know a lot of really big dogs. My Cousin Sophie is big. Grover and Mojo and Looch are really big dogs that come to Camp. But I figured horses are like, ten times as big as all of them, probably put together. So I asked Aleksa, and I was right. She said that the average horse weighs 1,100 pounds, and that some of them can weigh as much as 2,200 pounds. That means Sophie, Grover, Mojo and Looch all together only weigh half of what a small horse weighs! Not to mention they always travel in pairs, and pull these really loud cart things behind them. It’s very intimidating. Waya didn’t like them either.

There were cows all over the place in Pennsylvania. They’re really big too, but all they do is hang around in the fields. I like cows. They’re not running loose in the streets scaring the Heck out of everybody.

“Horses aren’t bad animals, David. They like a lot of the same things that dogs do. They like the snow, and running on the beach and playing together, which is probably where the saying “Horsing Around” comes from. Maybe you ought to give them another chance”-Editor/Mom

You realize I only weigh 47 pounds, right? One of them is like, 23 times as big as me. How would you feel if you saw any of these things coming at you?? 

What if they all decide to get together and have a stampede? Who’s gonna keep me from being trampled to death then? Nobody, that’s who. So, No Sir-eeee, Bub, you’re not gonna catch me anywhere near any of them.

“Hey, David. If Waya keeps growing at the rate she is now, she might be able to give them a run for their money. She’d save you.”-Editor/Mom

Ha ha ha… You’re kidding, right?? No way she could get that big.

“Yeah, probably not. I wouldn’t worry about it.”-Editor/Mom

 

 

 

 

OUR NEW TOY

Sorry it’s taken me so long to get this blog post out to you all. First I wanted to talk about the incident that happened while we were on vacation. I know my Mom and Auntie Jen told everyone about it, and I really wanted to tell my side of the story, but something else way more exciting happened last week. We got a new boat! And boy is it cool! I don’t know if you remember the little boat we had last year, but this one is like, twice as big, and it’s a good thing too, cause I don’t think there would’ve been room in that one for Waya.

Check this out! There’s room at the bow (that’s the front of the boat for all you landlubbers) for both of us. We can jump down into the boat and even chase each other around the driver’s seat in the middle.

“Yeah, well don’t get used to it. This is only a loaner. We thought it would be a good idea to give you guys some room, but as it turns out, center console design with a herding dog does not make for very relaxing cruising, so we’re looking forward to getting the boat we ordered.”-Editor/Mom

Hey, doesn’t matter to me, as long as we get to catch some wind in our ears and look out over the side at the water. That’s the funnest part, well, along with how we always get to go swimming before and after every boat ride. Oh yeah, and Mom always brings snacks and we usually get to share them. Last week we all had strawberries. They were delicious.

“So that’s the best part? The food? What about us all getting to go new places and hang out as a family?”-Editor/Mom

Well heck yeah! That’s always the best part. And it’s even better now that we have a smoother riding boat. I always felt like I was gonna bounce right out of the last one. Mom and Auntie Jen thought it was funny, but they’re taking it a lot easier on us now. Maybe it has something to do with that boating safety course they took.

Boating can definitely be very relaxing when you’re not holding on for your life. We’ve already been out on two different lakes, and this weekend we’re renting a house on a lake so that we can go out for rides whenever we want without having to go through the whole trailer thing. And look, our Moms bought us cool new collars to wear now that we’re actually “boaters”. 

“Hey, you’ve gotta look good while you’re out there.”-Editor/Mom

WORKING OUT

I don’t know if any of you have noticed what’s been going on lately. Take a look at these last few pictures my Mom has taken. What do you see? Don’t know what I’m talking about yet? It’s Waya. Look at her. She’s bigger than me! It happened overnite. 

She’s not even six months old yet. This is totally unfair! It took me two years to get as big as I am, how big will she be when she’s two?

“Hard to say. We’re not sure either, David.”-Editor/Mom

Seriously? Am I the only one who’s concerned about this? She already throws her weight around, and even though I still have a couple of pounds on her, at this rate how long will it be before I won’t stand a chance? Not very, that’s how long.
Well, I’m not waiting around for it to happen. If I’m gonna keep my butt from getting kicked around here I’ve gotta get going. That’s right, time to start working out. Bulking up is the best defense against getting rolled over. I’m pretty sure there’s some gym stuff kicking around. Maybe my Mom will help me get set up.

“Sure thing, David. I’ll help you dust off the gym and set you up with a little work-out room. Someone might as well be using it.”-Editor/Mom

Since I don’t know a lot about working out I had to do a little research. It’s really important to use the right equipment. Mom took care of that, check. Can’t wait to get started. Apparently, apparel is important, too. I’m not sure what the fitbit thing is all about. I mean is it considered equipment? Or apparel? Even though you’re wearing it, I’m thinking it’s equipment, because I guess it can keep track of your footsteps, and tell you your heart rate is, both good to know when you’re working out, cause you don’t want to overdue it. 

“Apparel is important, and I think you’ve nailed it with the tanktop and sweatbands. Looks like you’re ready to get started”-Editor/Mom

Well, the first thing I learned is it’s important to stretch out before working out, so’s you don’t blow out an acl or something. I’ve heard stories about how painful that can be.

“Not to mention, a long set-back to your work-out program, and that Waya’s not getting any smaller.”-Editor/Mom

I think starting out with a few reps on the light weights is a good idea… Up…Down…Up…Down…Up…and…Hold… Phew! I’m already working up a sweat.

“Ummmm, I’m no work-out expert, but I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to actually “lift” those.”-Editor/Mom

What? Lift them? That’s stupid. How am I supposed to do that? 

“You could use your mouth. I bet that would help strengthen up those neck muscles.”-Editor/Mom

Right, good idea. I’ll try that next time. Onto my next exercise, some serious weights. You’d better look out Waya!

“Did you say onto? Because again, pretty sure you’re supposed to “lift” these, too.”-Editor/Mom

Did I say onto? Cause I meant to say on to. But I’m gonna need a hand getting these weights onto the machine, cause I can’t get them off the floor with my mouth. You don’t think this is too much to start with, do you?

“Nah, I think you can handle it.”-Editor/Mom

 

It’s really important to wear a weight belt when lifting. Again, so you don’t hurt yourself. I’ve heard you can get a hernia, and that nobody likes those. It’s also good to have a spotter in case you drop something on yourself. 

“Don’t worry, I’m here for you David.”-Editor/Mom

Really feeling the burn now. I’m totally getting the hang of this. Am I getting a six-pack yet?

“Ummm, not yet, but you’re looking good, buddy. You might want to wrap up soon, it’s only your first day. You’re going to be a hurting puppy tomorrow.”-Editor/Mom/Spotter

Yup, I thought a mile on the bike would be a good finish to my work-out, but that proved to be a little harder than I expected. This isn’t as easy as it looks.

“Yeah, you might want to be careful there. That bike might be a little bit too big for you. We’ll have to find you something smaller. Meantime you could always go for a jog or a swim. Those are both great ways to get in shape.”-Editor/Mom

Did you say Swimming? I love swimming. 
Right now though, it’s time for the best part of the work-out. The protein shake. Where’s that fitbit? Wonder how many steps I took.

“Looks like 5,000 steps. Not bad, David.”-Editor/Mom

5,000. Is that a lot? Cause I’m thinking that since it’s really your fitbit, and you only have two legs, that my steps ought to be doubled. So that means I really did 10,000. Whew! No wonder I’m tired.

So, overall, how did you like your first workout?”-Editor/Mom

I think it went pretty well. Except for one thing. Even with my sweatband on, I felt like my ears were impeding my range of motion. Any ideas what I can do about that? 

“Oh yeah. I think we can come up with something.”-Editor/Mom

Thiis works, and apparently, the full “man bun” is quite a popular hairstyle with Hipsters.

GROWING PAINS

Can somebody tell me how much longer it’ll be before Waya’s puppy teeth fall out? Cause boy do they hurt, and I’ll be happy when they’re gone.

“Well, typically they’re pretty much gone when you reach five months old. Yours were, and we were all very happy.”-Editor/Mom

I don’t think mine were as sharp as hers. Have you noticed all of the little scabs I have from playing with her? I feel like a pin cushion.

“I have to agree with you, David. She’s got the biggest and sharpest puppy fangs I’ve ever seen.”-Auntie Jen

And is it me, or is she growing really fast? 

“Yeah, we’ve been noticing that, too.”-Editor/Mom

She’s already almost as big as me, and she’s still just a baby. How big is she gonna be when she’s my age?? I remember Jazzy was bigger than me, but not a whole lot heavier.

“Hard to say. Jazzy only weighed about 8 lbs. more than you do, but at this rate, Waya could be a lot bigger than her.”-Editor/Mom

Great, I can barely knock her down anymore as it is. At least I can still outrun her. 

“Well, I wouldn’t count on that for much longer if I were you. She’s been closing that gap on you the last couple of weeks.”-Editor/Mom

“Yeah, you’re screwed, Buddy.”-Auntie Jen

So you’re all saying that she’s gonna be bigger “and” faster than me? Boy, I better start working out. The good thing is I’ll always be older and wiser. And maybe she’ll learn to put some of her energy towards other things that don’t involve chewing on me all the time. 

“We can hope, but she really does seem to enjoy picking on you.”-Editor/Mom

Yeah, no kidding. And have any of you noticed that black pitchfork shaped mark on her forehead? What the Hell, I mean Heck, is that all about?

“You might have been right the first time. She “does” seem to have a little bit of the Devil in her, doesn’t she?”-Editor/Mom

“Yes, and speaking of scabs, I can’t help but notice that scar you gave her under her right eye. You’re gonna pay for that later, David.”-Auntie Jen

I didn’t mean it, but I had to defend myself. It’s already almost gone, so I think she’ll probably forget about it.