I don’t know if any of you have noticed what’s been going on lately. Take a look at these last few pictures my Mom has taken. What do you see? Don’t know what I’m talking about yet? It’s Waya. Look at her. She’s bigger than me! It happened overnite.
She’s not even six months old yet. This is totally unfair! It took me two years to get as big as I am, how big will she be when she’s two?
“Hard to say. We’re not sure either, David.”-Editor/Mom
Seriously? Am I the only one who’s concerned about this? She already throws her weight around, and even though I still have a couple of pounds on her, at this rate how long will it be before I won’t stand a chance? Not very, that’s how long.
Well, I’m not waiting around for it to happen. If I’m gonna keep my butt from getting kicked around here I’ve gotta get going. That’s right, time to start working out. Bulking up is the best defense against getting rolled over. I’m pretty sure there’s some gym stuff kicking around. Maybe my Mom will help me get set up.
“Sure thing, David. I’ll help you dust off the gym and set you up with a little work-out room. Someone might as well be using it.”-Editor/Mom
Since I don’t know a lot about working out I had to do a little research. It’s really important to use the right equipment. Mom took care of that, check. Can’t wait to get started. Apparently, apparel is important, too. I’m not sure what the fitbit thing is all about. I mean is it considered equipment? Or apparel? Even though you’re wearing it, I’m thinking it’s equipment, because I guess it can keep track of your footsteps, and tell you your heart rate is, both good to know when you’re working out, cause you don’t want to overdue it.
“Apparel is important, and I think you’ve nailed it with the tanktop and sweatbands. Looks like you’re ready to get started”-Editor/Mom
Well, the first thing I learned is it’s important to stretch out before working out, so’s you don’t blow out an acl or something. I’ve heard stories about how painful that can be.
“Not to mention, a long set-back to your work-out program, and that Waya’s not getting any smaller.”-Editor/Mom
I think starting out with a few reps on the light weights is a good idea… Up…Down…Up…Down…Up…and…Hold… Phew! I’m already working up a sweat.
“Ummmm, I’m no work-out expert, but I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to actually “lift” those.”-Editor/Mom
What? Lift them? That’s stupid. How am I supposed to do that?
“You could use your mouth. I bet that would help strengthen up those neck muscles.”-Editor/Mom
Right, good idea. I’ll try that next time. Onto my next exercise, some serious weights. You’d better look out Waya!
“Did you say onto? Because again, pretty sure you’re supposed to “lift” these, too.”-Editor/Mom
Did I say onto? Cause I meant to say on to. But I’m gonna need a hand getting these weights onto the machine, cause I can’t get them off the floor with my mouth. You don’t think this is too much to start with, do you?
“Nah, I think you can handle it.”-Editor/Mom
It’s really important to wear a weight belt when lifting. Again, so you don’t hurt yourself. I’ve heard you can get a hernia, and that nobody likes those. It’s also good to have a spotter in case you drop something on yourself.
“Don’t worry, I’m here for you David.”-Editor/Mom
Really feeling the burn now. I’m totally getting the hang of this. Am I getting a six-pack yet?
“Ummm, not yet, but you’re looking good, buddy. You might want to wrap up soon, it’s only your first day. You’re going to be a hurting puppy tomorrow.”-Editor/Mom/Spotter
Yup, I thought a mile on the bike would be a good finish to my work-out, but that proved to be a little harder than I expected. This isn’t as easy as it looks.
“Yeah, you might want to be careful there. That bike might be a little bit too big for you. We’ll have to find you something smaller. Meantime you could always go for a jog or a swim. Those are both great ways to get in shape.”-Editor/Mom
Did you say Swimming? I love swimming.
Right now though, it’s time for the best part of the work-out. The protein shake. Where’s that fitbit? Wonder how many steps I took.
“Looks like 5,000 steps. Not bad, David.”-Editor/Mom
5,000. Is that a lot? Cause I’m thinking that since it’s really your fitbit, and you only have two legs, that my steps ought to be doubled. So that means I really did 10,000. Whew! No wonder I’m tired.
So, overall, how did you like your first workout?”-Editor/Mom
I think it went pretty well. Except for one thing. Even with my sweatband on, I felt like my ears were impeding my range of motion. Any ideas what I can do about that?
“Oh yeah. I think we can come up with something.”-Editor/Mom
Thiis works, and apparently, the full “man bun” is quite a popular hairstyle with Hipsters.